Thirty years of...

Tonight I went to a Christmas concert. Amidst the lovely music was a tribute to a person who has been a vital part of the organization for 30 years. Thirty years!

What constancy! What commitment!

It got me thinking: what have I done for thirty years or any significant length of time? I've changed careers 6 or 7 times. I've moved 15 times. Gotten married and divorced (once each). Shared my home with five cats and three dogs (not at the same time). Driven/owned 11 different vehicles. Raised three wonderful children (now young adults). Worshipped in at least 8 churches regularly. Gotten immersed in at least five consuming hobbies. Traveled to eight countries and had amazing experiences. Been friends with more people than I can count.

About the only constant in my life is CHANGE!!! And the assurance that God is with me through it all!

llama song

This is for my mom:

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/llama

When the tears come...

Life comes at you
thick and fast.
New awareness beams in
like a hot Bethlehem sun.
The shock of living
in an occupied territory
Beats against American
Ignorance and self-absorption.

The spiritual blessings
of walking where Jesus walked;
Meeting people who witness
their faith everyday.
Tendering relationships,
exchanging addresses and promises.

Sleepless nights,
when the tears come,
God is there.

I'm in a band!

I've said this before.
I'm in the band...St. Charles West H.S.
Gotta go to band practice...Marching Mizzou.
Even said, "I'm with the band," while waiting for my boyfriend to play a gig.

Now "I'm in a band" means a gastric lap band. It's called the Realize Band, maybe because it's designed to help me realize I feel full with significantly less food.
I've lost 22 pounds in six weeks! and I look and feel better!
Best band ever!!!

Human Being or Human Doing?

Am I a human being or a human doing? What are you?
For most of my life I have thrived on lists: lists of things to do, to read, to shop, places to go, calls to make, work projects, and goals to accomplish.
It was a pleasure to vanquish each day's list, checking items off as I rushed along.

The gift of this summer has been a time of extended healing after surgery, slowing down and listening to my body. The first week I felt an inner peace stretching out as I focused on caring for my body in new ways. My spirit felt so grateful that I resolved to maintain that peace, even after I returned to work. To my surprise, I've been able to sustain that inner peace for three weeks now.

Doctors are always telling me to reduce stress. It's been on my to-do list for a long time. Can I finally check it off?
I still make lists, but I'm not as attached to them. That's the gift of being 47.

Prayer for the Journey

On this journey of life, O God, be our companion, be our guide. Show us where to go. Wherever we are, in the journey from birth to death, grant us your peace. We thank you for each other, our companions in the journey of faith. We pray for those with whom we travel on this planet as it makes its rounds of the sun. Bring us together to a new world of peace, through Jesus Christ, who lived and died that all might be one. Amen.

Love and Possibility

I awake each morning, full of love and possibility.

One cross word and the love evaporates...

What is the possibility of getting it back?

Fear

Fear...
Face it. Name it. Explore it.
Don't let it stop you.

Scare yourself...
Dare it. Try it. Leap over it.
Exhilarating.

So what's new?

Decisions

What criteria do you use to make decisions?
I've been asked about this twice in the past week in very different circumstances.

1. Stuff--how do you make decisions about the stuff you surround yourself with? Clothes, furniture, knickknacks, papers, etc. How much is too much? What to keep and what to let go of?
For instance, do you follow the clothes replacement rule? When you purchase a new item of clothing, do you let go of a corresponding item already in your closet? Or do you just add to the stockpile until you have so many clothes you can't possibly wear them all, let alone care for and maintain them in a wrinkle-free manner?

When I think about the stuff in my life, I try to remember it's only things. Those things need to be functional and beautiful (in my eyes, anyway). No one else thinks my first knitted item is either useful or pretty, but it makes me smile! What would I really miss if everything went up in flames? Not much, except pictures. I have a number of items which beloved friends have given me. After a while, I may take a picture, keep the sentiment (and the friend) and pass the item along to someone who can use it. I think of it as passing along the blessing.

2. Life choices---What factors do you consider when making life decisions? For example: choosing a college major, making a career change, deciding where to live?
Do you make a list of the pros & cons? Talk to people? Pray? Fret & worry? Go with your gut?

I have made a number of major life changes and they aren't easy, but they are necessary for a vital, flourishing life! I tend to gather all the info possible, make the lists, talk to others, pray a lot, and listen to my instinct. I call it following the Spirit. I try not to procrastinate and to realize that discernment is a process.

That's it. Life is a journey. What's important are the people you meet along the way, not things.

Community

We need one another--to share laughter, good food and good times.
We lean on each other--to share tears, sorrow and burdens.
We race one another--down the highways; against the clock; to the finish line.
We dance with each other--swaying to the beat; stepping on toes; moving in rhythm.

Life in community--intermingled, enmeshed, tangled.
Woven in pattern; knit in gauge; embroidered & embellished with love.

Companions on life's journey--held in prayer and love.

Grateful for Health-Ha!
The day after I wrote the last post, I had an experience that made me realize my health is not to be taken for granted. "Good" health is a relative term, very subjective, and fleeting. The medical tests results are like puzzle pieces which are being fit together to form a picture and it has taken me some time to adjust to the new picture. I would still classify my health as "good" but I'm definitely making changes for "better."

Good, better, best.
Never let it rest.
Until your good is better
and your better is best!

Blessings & Choices

So often opportunities present themselves in the form of challenges. These economic times are certainly challenging. I know in many communities, businesses & factories are downsizing/closing and jobs are being lost on a wide-scale basis, but this is not happening universally. I am deeply concerned for the families who are struggling to make ends meet and I want to remind everyone that we have a real opportunity to reach out and help others. This is what Americans do really, really well. If we have a roof over our heads, food in our bellies, and love in our families, we are blessed. I am grateful for good health everyday!



The opportunity comes as a way to share those blessings and encouragement with those who are really struggling. Three lessons we can learn from this era our nation is experiencing are humilty, resistance to fear-mongering and the gift of encouragement. By humility, I mean the sense of humble awareness that it is a blessing to have a job, meaningful work which enables us to provide for ourselves & our families. Everyone needs to keep their spirits strong and not give in to the fear that can grip us when we are surrounded by messages and media reports of gloom & doom. I don't mean to sound like I've hidden my head in the sand and don't want to face facts. On the contrary, I believe we must face facts, about our finances, our debt , the consumer choices we make, distinguishing between wants & needs, and realizing what is truly important. Facing our financial reality can be liberating. It can also be overwhelming, especially if we have credit card debt. As Suze Orman says, "You have to face it to erase it!" I can vouch for this personally!

The third, and perhaps most vital lesson is the opportunity to help and encourage others. Listen to your friend express her concerns and support her in the steps she is taking to deal with her financial reality. Encourage people to count their blessings. There is always something to thank God for. Donate to your local food pantry. Do what you can to alleviate the suffering of others. Pray for our leaders. Realize that we will get through this and be stronger for it!

"I'm Bored..."

What's the difference between being bored and finding downtime in seeking to balance our hectic lives? The activities (or lack of) which we engage in may look the same to an observer. I think the difference has to do with our attitudes regarding inactivity. I am rarely bored. In fact, I can't recall ever really feeling bored. There's always more good books to read than I'll ever have time for. There are usually friends to talk with and now that I've rediscovered my passion for knitting, there is always a creative project on the needles. Also, moms are too busy to be bored, IMHO.


I saw an interview with Seal last week. In addition to talking with him about singing on America's Song, the reporter asked him about his downtime. This beautiful man just started cracking up. He said, "Downtime? I have 3 kids and a wife. I had downtime in the 90's!"



Relaxing, finding downtime is important to balance out the crazy-business of our lives. Prayer, meditation and yoga are vital downtime activities that help to recharge my spirit. Of course, Hang & Wing would tell me I still don't "get it" as they loll on their pillows for some serious downtime! At least, I'm not bored!

The Needlearts

Creating Comfort, Promoting Wellness, Improving Lives
Found this tagline on the TNNA website and it really reminded me of the warm, happy feeling I have when I am knitting. When I am knitting, whether it's for a friend, a little something for myself, or just swatching & trying out new techniques, my creativity & love is just flowing. I'm in the knitting "zone"! I love trying out new colors & textures of yarn, imagining the possibilities, working through the pattern and enjoying the finished work. It's a great process!

Inauguration

I watched history being made yesterday! Millions of people participated in celebrating the inauguration of President Barack Obama. There is a palpable sense of anticipation; that the cultural context of America is shifting. Yes, the economic news is still bad. Yes, we are still entangled in fighting two wars and many geopolitical conflicts. Yes, there is still a long way to go in building Dr. King's beloved community of love, peace and justice. However, things are different and the possibilities for advancement have opened up. Most interesting to me in the news coverage were all the mini-interviews with African-American citizens of all ages who were rejoicing with the Obama family's move into the White House. It's been a long time coming!

Challenge

I'm all about the learnin'.
That's what my sister & I say to each other when we learn another life lesson.
Meaning: I may feel like I got run over by a truck, but what did I learn from the experience?

I like to challenge myself to try something new every January. In 2008, it was to become proficient in yoga. I take a class every week, as well as practice at home. I lost 20 pounds in 2008 and discovered that I am a yogini!

In January 2009 I started this blog and am challenging myself to becoming more technologically savvy. I'm interested in new ways of communicating and building community. However, I'm more comfortable with the traditional methods. I believe it's important to spend time with people face-to-face, as well as Facebook. I like to just be with friends & family, as well as blog.
What will I learn from this?

New year, New you

Every new year I hear the same common themes: lose weight; clean up your financial act; live a balanced life. Dream big; set lofty goals; manage time wisely. For many years I have whole-heartedly followed this approach. This year I'm trying something new: easing up. Oh, I still think it's important to live a balanced life & have dreams, etc. I just decided to relax my attitude about life. I have decided to practice being a non-anxious presence as much as I can. Sort of like breathing into the yoga pose. I can hold the pose a lot longer when I switch my focus from how I'm holding the pose and just breathe into it. This is my response to the anxiety that swirls around us.

My twin sons are experts at this eased-up approach to life. In fact, I like to joke that their Chinese names are "Hang" and "Wing" because they like to just hang out and wing it.

I'm such a planner & a doer--I'm already planning how to do this new approach to life.
Maybe I just better hang out for a while and wing it to see how it flys!

Choices

Life is all about choices. I used to rail against this in various ways. For example, when faced with several desserts at a family dinner, I would choose two slivers of pie, pecan and cherry, rather than be limited to just one flavor. In career and family life, I over-extended and over-committed myself, rather than miss out on opportunities and experiences.
Thankfully, wisdom comes. I realize when I choose to say "yes" to something, it also means saying "no" to something else. Today, I said "yes" to blogging my thoughts. What did I say "no" to?